Cyclopean Columns

Okay, okay - I know Mikey Capital tagged me over a week ago (here). I've been slack. Hold onto your hats while I make up for it...

1) I'm a perfectionist, and have been for ages. A lot of people might think this is a good thing (provided it doesn't go to anal extents). However, what this generally means is that I don't actually do a lot of things, because I am concerned I won't do them well enough. For instance, writing and running roleplaying games. Which brings us to...

2) I'm a gamer, but only "tabletop". There is this distinction between those folk who sit around a table and game as opposed to those people who dress up all wierd-like and act out their character's every move. My wife does the latter as well as the former. I think that one of the reasons I don't do the latter is because of point 1, above.

3) The first thing I remember is from when my family was living in Wagga Wagga. Dad was in the army, I would have been all of 3 or 4. All I can remember is being in bed sick, there being a corridor leading from the room, red brick walls and my mum talking in another room. Another memory from Wagga Wagga include falling into a settling pond near the Officers' Mess. Incidentally, my folks met in the army, when my mum (a corporal at the time) refused to make a coffee or salute this upstart lieutenant (my dad).

4) Ferris Beuller's Day Off is probably my favourite film of all time. I'm watching it (again) whilst I write this, and I think that every subtlety of the movie is permanently engraved across my cerebellum. Every. Single. Line.

5) I love movies, especially science fiction, horror and Ferris Beuller's Day Off. Despite this, I think I am the least capable quoter of movie lines amongst all my friends. I'm really good at getting the general gist of it without ever getting the line actually right.

6) I have travelled overseas to two different countries with stopovers in two more, for a total of six overseas trips. None of these have been a vacation. I have never travelled to a non-English speaking country.

7) My current job is my third (or fourth?) attempt at a career. In college (year 12 for all you non-Canberrans) I was offered a cadetship to study chemical engineering with BHP. I turned it down to go to ADFA and be an Air Force officer cadet, where I studied science for a year and was in the pilot program. A year of this was more than enough for me so I bugged out and ended up studying architecture. This didn't last beyond the first three years (Bachelor of Applied Science) and ultimately led to me becoming a public servant. That was 10 years ago and I haven't moved since. Same department for ten long years.

8) I married the first girl I went out with for more than a month. We've been an item for more than 14 years, married for more than half of that (nearly 8 years now) and have a gorgeous baby girl after 6 quite painful years of trying. The not getting pregnant was the painful bit, not the trying per-se. As they say, if sex is a pain in the arse, you're doing it wrong... Did I mention that I love my girls to bits?

9) I am an atheist. When I was growing up, I was superficially Church of England, but my folks never got me or my brother christened. They figured that was a decision that my bro and I could make when we were older. Growing up and going to cubs and scouts we used to have prayer and swear allegiance to "God and to the Queen" but I don't think I really believed any of it. Eventually I felt quite uncomfortable about saying prayers and saying "Amen" because I didn't believe. These days if I find myself in a church, I will stand with my eyes open when everyone is praying. Seems appropriate to me. Despite my heathen godlessness, I have been raised with "Christian values", which means I am a secular humanist and have a strong belief in the basic goodness of other people. Some might suggest this makes me a sucker.

10) My favourite car of all time is the Nissan 300ZX (Z32). I have never driven one or sat in one, but I just love the look of them. Love love love. Close second is the Lamborghini Diablo.

11) I sew. This does not include clothes for daily wear, but does include garb for the SCA. Oh, and I also sew canvas coverings for Yurts. I have contributed to the manufacture of no less than five yurts to date, with plans for more. They are all used for SCA camping events. I can highly recommend the yurt as an excellent camping option if you have a trailer available (they're not quite as transportable as a tent).

12) I have a pretty good natural talent to write and draw. I tend not to exercise these skills too much any more (see point 1). I will generally complain about not having any time to do any of this stuff, but I'm not sure that is the answer.

13) I've only ever had one parking ticket and I've never been done for a moving violation. No speeding, drunk driving, failing to stop etc. Whilst I do try very hard these days to drive zen and behave, I haven't always and I think that my clean slate is as much to do with good luck as good management.

14) I'm a bit of a space and technology nut. I love my gadgets (GPS, laptop, night vision scope, telescope, torches...) and I love my sci-fi, everything from hardcore 2001 and Aliens to fluffy stuff like Pitch Black. The news that NASA was going back to the moon was some of the best news I've heard in ages. A really cool part of that is that they're planning to have six manned missions every year to the moon once they get started. Just a shame it's going to be such a long time coming...

15) Despite all this, I don't have a mobile phone or a PDA. This is mainly because I work in a place where you can't take that sort of stuff into the building, and the thought of having such a cool toy for only a third of the time (8 hours work, 8 hours sleeping, only 8 hours left for gadget) seems a little silly. I did try having a mobile phone for a while, I got my wife's hand-me-down handset and an "only pay for calls" plan with her provider. I kept leaving the phone behind and I eventually managed to break it, don't ask me how. Besides which, the provider wanted to start charging $10 per month for just having the thing. Yeah, I know I could go with a prepaid, but I just don't use the thing and the credits would expire before I used them. Really the only reason I can think of for having one would be so I could be contacted in regards my daughter.

16) I mentioned torches in 14. I have a fascination with things that produce light. It doesn't matter how many torches I might already have, I always want more. My latest fad is the ultrabright LED torches - I have a single LED torch on my keyring, a 3-LED torch for general use and a (wait for it) 19-LED headlamp for serious light application. I love the little flashing light trinkets you can get, and things like chemoluminescence fascinate me. Really should try doing some of that out of household chemicals some day...

17) I have a bent for acting and performing which, like my other artistic pursuits, I tend not to pursue. In college I ended up with two acting roles and two backstage roles, thus participating in theatre for each of my four semesters of years 11 and 12. One of the roles was the lead "Billy Bigelow" in Carousel. Years later I learned that several of the girls in that production thought I was pretty hot. I had no idea. Stupid me. Since then I have had a couple of minor roles in some short films my friends have made, playing parts as diverse as a hapless father who falls foul of a sock puppet and a street smart punky geek hacker.

18) I didn't get dux of year 7. At that stage, I didn't know there was even such a thing. But in year 7, Penny Reyenga got it, and all of a sudden I knew I had a purpose in life. I had to get the Willis Award (which is what they called dux at my highschool) from then on. What a nerd! But I did it - more or less straight A's and the Willis Award for years 8, 9 and 10. I went on to get dux of my graduating class in year 12, with one of the highest Tertiary Entrance scores in the state for that year (top 0.73 percent). After all that effort I discovered that it didn't mean dick. All those duxes and awards didn't help me at uni and certainly didn't help me get a job. I'm still proud of them though coz it means I'm a smart f***er. Maybe I should join Mensa...

19) I love cats. We've got two of 'em, and for as long as I can remember as a child we've had cats around too. First there was Fluffy, then Tiger, Pebbles, Pixie... our two boys at home are Nietche and Rorschach. I have discovered over the years that a cat's personality appears to be linked to its colouration to a greater or lesser extent. I have also learned that you can train a cat to be extremely, psychotically violent. Having Tiger around as my brother and I went through our teenage years meant that he was, well, a whirling, swirling toiletbowl of death. He got some strange ideas into his head about the pecking order in the family, especially after my brother moved out of home. Some of my fondest memories of that cat involved him leaping out from behind the lounge to attach himself with very sharp claws to my brother's thigh, bite madly for ten seconds then streak off in a flash of fur. My wife was scared stiff of that cat.

20) I have never bungee-jumped, parachuted, water skiied, jet skiied, skiied or hang-glided. I have gone caving, hiking, camping and abseiling. I have never fired a pistol but I have fired an SLR rifle (7.62mm). I would never allow a firearm in my home, despite my police friends recommending a shotgun for dealing with future suitors of my daughter.


There you go. For anyone who gets this far, I'm going to call out my bro, Bimberi, for a tag. And just for good measure, I think I'll call Capital Mum, my lovely wife, as well.